Do you listen with "The third ear, the heart"?

Stephen R. Covey in his book, Spiritual Roots of Human Relations (1975) discusses the importance of listening to others with "the third ear, the heart". On page 107 he writes: "A person needs to express himself freely and fully, without fear of ridicule or embarrassment or censure. He will likely then become open to influence and to reasoning. You may think you understand, and in fact even without listening you might actually understand what is going on, but the other person may not feel understood until he has expressed himself. To him, his problem is unique. It's different. And you just can't simply categorize and generalize."

How do you strike the root of the problem!

For every thousand men hacking at the leaves, there is one striking at the root of the problem (adapted from Henry Thoreau).

The last book I read, Spiritual Roots, touches on a topic that I use in my professional life every day called "Root cause analysis" (RCA). Covey also uses root cause analysis to sort out behavioral problems, although he never really calls it RCA. Basically the way root cause analysis works is that you keep asking the question "Why does this happen" over and over again until the last answer is repeated twice, then you have arrived at the very "Root Cause" of your problems. So in a family situation the analysis could go like this, for example: 1. "Why doesn't my son listen to me (this is the observed symptom), because (fill in the blank ............. with a direct cause). 2. Why does the direct cause happen (rember it is very likely just another symptom of an underlying problem or cause) fill in the blank........... 3. Repeat this line of questioning until you repeat the answer twice. When you get to that point, you have gone beyond just the symptoms and arrived at the very root cause of the problem.

This sounds very simple and it is in some ways. I hope this is something that can help you. This is a great tool to use in many situations in life, whether it's investing in the stock market, or trying to have better peace and happiness in home. A continuation of this discussion can be found at Linkedin. Read further...

BOOK REPORT: Spiritual Roots of Human Relations

Stephen R. Covey is best known for his writing Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, which has sold a whopping 10 million copies according to Amazon. The book that was the seed for Seven Habits, probably was another less known book also written by Stephen R. Covey in his forties titled, Spritual Roots of Human Relations.

I recently made a study of his book, Spiritual Roots and found it to be very inspiring and thought provoking. The copy I read was the same one my Dad read when he was exactly my age and so it was neat to see the passages that he underlined. Spritual Roots introduces many of the "Self help" concepts covered in more detail in the Seven Habits, and it takes a more spiritual approach.

One line from the book, "Every interpersonal, leadership, and social problem is actually a spiritual or moral problem." In a day when talking about spirituality is overly-taboo, Spiritual Roots is a refreshing read and insightful in the way it links undesireable behaviors and the underlying or hidden spiritual problems. Great application to family life, work life, and just life in general. In upcoming posts, I plan to write about certain insights gained from reading this book. Read more...